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Nickienator
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« Antwoord #525 Gepost op: 18 Maart 2015, 22:31:02 »

"I've seen crying babies on so many flights I started to wonder 'is there a reason for this?'. So I looked it up, turns out there's an actual reason babies cry on air planes and it's that they're upset gay people are getting married."
~Louis CK Live at the Comedy Store
In volgorde van waar ik de meeste tijd aan verspil naar minste tijd is het stand-up comedy >>> anime > westerse films en series, ik kijk stiekem vrij weinig anime. Tongue



"I found the smell. Someone filed a taco."
"'Things that will otherwise get filed straight to my thighs'."
~Community

"You crying? You cry when I tell you to cry. So reabsorb that disgusting droplet of salt and bad choices back into your doughy body. And then call your mother to see if you can be reabsorbed back into her doughy body or so help me God, I will take that tear, I will freeze it, and I will stab you in the ye with it you waste of a soul-shape forgotten by God."
~Community



"With all the horrible, horrible shit that your priest is pumping in your kid's head, his dick should be the least of your worries, honestly. That's just a little bit of mouthwash and a few years of therapy to get rid of that. That Jesus shit will torture you for a lifetime."
~Doug Stanhope: Deadbeat Hero



"If I show you my breasts, will I get beads?"
"You will get beads. Beads of semen all across them."
~Doug Stanhope: Word of Mouth

"If you really believe that death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seat belt?"
~Doug Stanhope: Word of Mouth



"If you would take a diamond from a dude you're a suspect fucking whore. Two months salary on a diamond? If a guy offers you a diamond and you do anything short of openly mock him for wasting good money that you could have put towards something that meant something in your relationship you're a whore. If he could afford to work for two solid months just to buy you a shiny worthless object, wouldn't you instead prefer he takes two month off of work just to hang out with you for free? Wouldn't that mean more?"
~Doug Stanhope: Oslo - Burning the Bridge to Nowhere



"There is no such thing as addiction. Just things you like more than life."
~Doug Stanhope: Before Turning the Gun on Himself

"If you are offended by any word in any language it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child. They were too stupid, they should have been neutered. Because all it is is a sound you can make with your mouth. It's not a weakness you have naturally. When you come out of that pink ugly hole onto this planet you're nothing but a gooey wrinkling ball of weakness. That's all you are, you're just weak, you're nothing but weak. And you parents look at that and they think: 'Not weak enough. We can make this thing even weaker by training it Pavlovian to react poorly to different sounds that you can make with your mouth'."
~Doug Stanhope: Before Turning the Gun on Himself



"Trust me! We'll smash that thing to smithereens!! We won't let it destroy the world!! After all... The only thing that gets to smash this world... Is my fiiist!!"
~Hoshi no Samidare
Genoeg punt bewezen voor één post.

"Die with me."
"With pleasure."
~Hoshi no Samidare

"Bragging about his date! So immature! Some 'grown-up'!"
"Without adults, we would not have the concept of immaturity."
~Hoshi no Samidare



"How about we put the DJ over there?"
"You're not gonna need a DJ."
"I've been saying that since the invention of the shuffle button."
~Community

"You helped me learn something about film-making today that I think we all need to apply to life: it's okay to plan some stuff and it's okay to figure out what we did wrong. But our plans are going to randomly fall apart and our lessons are going to randomly be wrong, and if we just keep the camera's rolling and shoot a lot of crap eventually Annie is going to reach down her shirt and pull out a laser bomb. I didn't write that. We didn't plan that. God made that happen. God made this movie. And it's dumb. And we're dumb for being in it. Life is a big dumb pointless movie with no story and an abrupt ending where the hero gets shot by Dracula in the middle of a lunch order during an out-take, but somewhere in there, every once in a while..."
"...Annie reaches down her shirt."
~Community



"Please wait! I beg you!"
"What?"
"Please let me join you!"
"Oh, sorry. Can't."
"Wh-Why not?"
"You'd be a nuisance."
~Hunter x Hunter (2011)

"Um, I have enough to cover 80,000 Jenny."
"Ah, could you shut up for a moment?"
~Hunter x Hunter (2011)



"Yeah, two large pizzas. Yes, one cheese and one half cheese and half cheese."
~Louie

"I don't have any trouble saying it: I miss the shit out of your stupid tits."
"Yeah. They're both pretty stupid. They both flunked out of tit-school."
"Yeah?"
"They left one is like, almost clinically retarded."
"I wanna cum on your retarded tits."
~Louie

"Can you believe this comes out of a cow's pussy?"
"You know... You know it comes out of the tits, you know that right?"
"Hah, no. Milk comes out of the tits. Yogurt comes out of the pussy."
~Louie



"I believe his performance is quite inconsistent."
"But he's consistently inconsistent."
~Hunter x Hunter (2011)



"You know about girls that fucking think you want like whipped cream and cherries and other food and eat it off of her tits? Blergh. No. What am I gonna do then, stick my dick between two plates?"
~The Anthony Cumia Show



"You're gonna be fine, you know?"
"I don't wanna be fine. I wanna be 25 and heading out into the world. I wanna fall asleep on a beach and be able to walk the next day. Or stay up all night on accident. I wanna wear a white T-shirt without looking like I forgot to get dressed. I wanna be terrifief od AIDS. I wanna have an opinion about those... Boring-ass Marvel movies. And I want those opinions to be of any concern to the people making them."
"Well, I wanna live in the same home for more than a year. Order wine without feeling nervous. Have a resumé full of crazy mistakes instead of crazy lies. I want stories and wisdom, perspective. I wanna have so much behind me I'm not a slave to what's in front of me. Especially these... Flavourless unremarkable Marvel movies."
"Oh they're só not a big deal!"
"I know!"
"It's just all there is!"
"Yes, and you get to say that! I could screw myself if I say it but there's pressure on me you don't have to live under. If you accept that you're older. And let the kid's stuff go."
~Community



"Well, I think everyone can be funny, but not when they want, you know? That's sort of the trick. Sometimes when people want to be funny and they try, it's a little painful. But-"
"But the fact that they can try, that's the thing that to me that dilutes it, because when you're at a party, nobody dabbles in dentistry. But everyone can, if they want, choose to dabble in comedy. They can be horrible. But they can at least do it. That annoys the hell out of me."
~Misery Loves Comedy



"I smell odorless deodorant..."
~Hunter x Hunter (2011)

"Try not to die until you're dead."
~Hunter x Hunter (2011)
« Laatste verandering: 04 Juli 2015, 22:01:47 door Nickienator » Gelogd




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« Antwoord #526 Gepost op: 06 Juli 2015, 13:39:46 »

if you are not embarrassed by the first version of your product, you've launched too late
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Tommy9119
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« Antwoord #527 Gepost op: 06 Juli 2015, 13:43:03 »

Geweldig hoe Nick zijn post al update sinds maart terwijl waarschijnlijk niemand het meer heeft bekeken sinds die dag.
Gelogd

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« Antwoord #528 Gepost op: 06 Juli 2015, 13:47:59 »

Ik vind nick z'n citaten wel sexy altijd.
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Nickienator
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« Antwoord #529 Gepost op: 06 Juli 2015, 17:06:54 »

Ik ook.



"Good little kids should sit far from the TV when watching the show. Stand back about a kilometer."
~Cowboy Bebop
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« Antwoord #530 Gepost op: 07 Juli 2015, 12:17:49 »

if women were in charge, there would be no wars - just a load of countries not talking to each other for a number of silly reasons
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sasbom
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Frenchformers, bistro's in disguise


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« Antwoord #531 Gepost op: 07 Juli 2015, 12:50:56 »

"Die cis scum"
Gelogd

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I sexually identify as a tomato
Ontdek je karma met shoarma

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« Antwoord #532 Gepost op: 07 Juli 2015, 21:14:02 »

"Guys cheap enough to hack into things are depressed pale fatsos with glasses."
~Cowboy Bebop

"Remember this. If you want to survive, you must betray me at times."
~Cowboy Bebop

"If you give a baby only sweet things they say it'll only want that and won't eat the nutritious foods that are vital. Things like sugar candy are the poison after all. Now it's not like I'm only talking about food. The world is full of sugar candy. If you only watch stuff like that, your brain will rot and become yogurt."
~Cowboy Bebop: Yose Atsume Blues

"Those who don't work have no right to eat. Get your own food. I don't count. Women are great just by staying alive."
~Cowboy Bebop

"I got a fat implant after that accident. Got a little incision around the armpit, and had it squeezed in..."
~Cowboy Bebop



"The Spirits belonged to the legendary warriors. Someone who gets bullied like you won't get one."
~Digimon Frontier

"Wizarmon, a Demon Man type Digimon who mastered fire and earth magic. His special attack is Thunder Cloud."
~Digimon Frontier
Huh, waarom is je speciale aanval bliksem als je vuur en aarde magie geleerd hebt?



"If I know your sexuality within the first 30 seconds of meeting you, you're fucking annoying."
~Doug Stanhope: Beer Hall Putsch



"Stars are perpetually fascinating because stars are a type of deformity, like cancer."
~Helter Skelter

"'I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.' Which is to say, 'I don't want to love anyone who would love me.'"
~Helter Skelter



"In the 21st century, the number of mahjong players around the world is in the hundreds of millions, and professional players have an avid following."
~Saki Achiga-hen: Episode of Side-A
Hmm... Ben bang dat dat de belabberde westerse variant zou zijn en niet het coole Chinese/Japanse/Ricchi spel. Tongue

"Living... Sure is hard."
~Saki Achiga-hen: Episode of Side-A



"When you're in a man's fight, you're already risking your life! The moment you get scared of dying is the exact moment you've lost the fight!"
~Digimon Savers

"Awaken in my fist, Digisoul!"
~Digimon Savers

"Digimon aren't supposed to be coming in this world to begin with! Just being with humans is a crime!"
"A crime?! But you guys have Digimon with you, too!"
"If a patrol car speeds to catch a speeding car, that doesn't make the patroller a criminal, does it?"
~Digimon Savers
« Laatste verandering: 01 Augustus 2015, 21:27:54 door Nickienator » Gelogd




Tommy9119
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« Antwoord #533 Gepost op: 10 Augustus 2015, 09:07:03 »

"BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!"

- Ronald Reagan.
Gelogd

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Nickienator
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« Antwoord #534 Gepost op: 17 Augustus 2015, 12:14:33 »

"My daughter walked in on me while I was having a piss the other day."
"Did that bother you?"
"Yeah. You try pissing with a hard-on."
~Opie & Anthony (Rich Vos)

"I'm gonna bring some vegimite in for you next time, I've got buckets of the stuff."
"That's like a black guy saying he's gonna bring in some stereotypical black food."
"Like a stolen stereo?"
~Opie & Anthony (Jim Jefferies)

"Jim's been doing our show for years now and now here we are exchanging baby pictures. What happened?"
"Well, you know what the weird thing is? We used to do that before but now it's less creepy because we've got kids."
~Opie & Anthony (Jim Jefferies)



"Clearly... This is a one-on-one fight between me and the tanker!"
~Digimon Savers



"Why do they call them palm trees? They don't look like hands. That don't make no sense."
~Lyle "Chip" Chipperson



"I won't tell you not to worry, but... Don't worry!"
~Air Gear
« Laatste verandering: 23 September 2015, 21:10:37 door Nickienator » Gelogd




Tidob
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« Antwoord #535 Gepost op: 20 Oktober 2015, 18:25:15 »

"These guys must have hero in their bones. And you ma'am, you must have heroine in your veins!"

Futurama

Tongue
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Vergeet vrijheid en gelijkheid, broederschap is wat we zoeken!

Nickienator
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« Antwoord #536 Gepost op: 26 Oktober 2015, 20:52:19 »

"Why is Canada so hard to get into?"
"You just have to start with their early stuff."
~Comedy Bang Bang (Anthony Jeselnik)



"I was in this bar last night and saw this beautiful woman. Like a supermodel. I walked up and was like 'hey, were you from?', 'what do you do?'. And she goes 'Oh me, I live here in San Francisco and I'm a brain surgeon'. Now I don't know if this makes me sexist, but I was like really impressed. You know, I mean... Most women can't pull off sarcasm."
~Anthony Jeselnik: Thoughts and Prayers

"Who was is that said the first million is the hardest? Was it Hitler?"
~Anthony Jeselnik: Thoughts and Prayers

"We all thought my grandmother died the way she wanted to go. Peacefully, in her sleep. We were all excited for her. But then we did an autopsy. We found out she actually died horribly, in the worst way possible: during an autopsy."
~Anthony Jeselnik: Thoughts and Prayers
« Laatste verandering: 27 Oktober 2015, 17:29:41 door Nickienator » Gelogd




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« Antwoord #537 Gepost op: 27 Oktober 2015, 17:11:31 »

:') die moet ik eens checken.
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« Antwoord #538 Gepost op: 27 Oktober 2015, 18:01:55 »

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
George Carlin

I’d like to mention something about language, there are a couple of terms being used a lot these days by guilty white liberals. The first is “Happens to be” ‘He happens to be black’ “I have a friend, who happens to be black” like it’s a fuckin accident ya know. Happens to be black? Yes, he happens to be black. He has two black parents? Oh yes, yes he did. And they fucked? Oh indeed they did. So where does the surprise part come in? I’d think it’d be more unusual if he just happened to be scandinavian.

The other term is openly. “He’s openly gay” that’s the only minority they use that for. You wouldn’t say someone is openly black well maybe James Brown. Or Louis Farrakhan, Louis Farrakhan is openly black. Colin Powell is not openly black, Colin Powell is openly white, he just happens to be black.
George Carlin
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« Antwoord #539 Gepost op: 30 Oktober 2015, 16:27:08 »

"Oh my god, someone's phone is going off..."
"You guys were told airplane mode. Is that you Patty?"
"Yes, Patty. You should put yours on the Malaysian airplane mode."
~The Anthony Cumia Show (Jim Norton)

"Have you sent any dick pics out recently?"
"I'm gonna say no if by recent you mean in the last 2 hours. Not only have I sent one out recently, I'll read you the response I got. Hold on. 'You're the best son I could've hoped for'."
~The Anthony Cumia Show (Jim Norton)
« Laatste verandering: 30 Oktober 2015, 21:11:15 door Nickienator » Gelogd





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